Every week, we hear about jilted guys abusing their wives/girlfriends and in some cases, even murdering them in cold blood. Yet we never address the real reason why abusive behavior is so rampant in our society. We have this distorted image of what love is, and owing to our cultural history, we tend to believe that couples who stick together no matter the severity of the situation, are the bee’s knees. Well no, sometimes, when people run away from their partner after a mere fortnight, it’s the best decision they would ever make in their life.
So, in order to avoid these onerous people, these 5 red flags will help you in being a little more prescient.
- No Remorse
Abusive people don’t do the whole introspection/guilty conscience thing. It’s like the part of the brain with a modicum of self awareness is always turned off. So watch out when the guy or the girl you’re dating does something absolutely horrendous and doesn’t take responsibility for it. This is also known as ‘gas lighting’. Oftentimes, abusive people try to manipulate their partner into thinking that their ‘concerns’ are unsubstantiated, even going so far as citing apocryphal experiences to sway their partner.
Run away from that person as fast as you can.
2. Controlling Behavior
As individuals, we all have specific needs and ideals and we tend to stick by them to avoid moral or intellectual dilemmas. If your partner ever tries to impose their ideals onto you with the forethought that they are better equipped at decision making, it’s probably time to say goodbye. Narcissistic individuals will tear out your soul and blame you for it, which is why you will never see a husband plead guilty for the murder of his wife, because in his screwed up universe, he’s exempted from all guilt. Likewise, individuals who have a loose screw should be avoided like the plague, no matter how charming they present themselves to be.
3. Irate dispositions
We all know a person who thinks that their reaction to a certain situation is never misconstrued but rather that the object of the situation itself is triggering that reaction from them. Those people expect you to walk on egg shells, avoid any or every topic they’re at odds with and live in constant fear of their anger bursts. I don’t think I need to expatiate any further on this topic because it’s pretty evident that hot headed individuals are terrible life partners. In certain cases, you might feel like ‘hmmm he’s just human, he’s not perfect’, well girl no, he doesn’t need to be perfect, he just needs to be fucking normal. So if you find yourself ever wondering whether that hot guy with an even hotter temperament would be into you, keep in mind that it’s potentially a death sentence for you.
4. Misogynistic inclinations
The ‘alt-right’ is pretty cool these days and you may find yourself rationalizing the need to separate people from their ideas but in certain cases, watch out for how extreme the idea is. Misogynistic men don’t openly declare their aversion to anything feminine but there are recurring connotations in their speech that would point to them being extremely antagonistic toward the female cause. The first red flag to observe in those individuals is that they’re constantly playing down your concerns because, wait for it, you’re a woman. They will deride you for things you’ve never even done because in their mind, all women are sneaky, back-stabbing sluts. They will expect you to play the role of the submissive sidekick because they see you as a sentient object. Needless to say, those people are a blot on your pursuit of happiness.
5. Low self esteem
Some people just hate themselves and it’s normal because our individual experiences define who we’ve become but some do take the LSE thing to a whole new level. They will define their emotional state based on how you treat them, which sounds pretty ambiguous but basically you will be responsible for their emotions and if you fail at that task, they will unleash all that repressed wrath onto you. You will feel burdened by disproportionately insane expectations and nervous breakdowns will become a recurring theme in your household. So be observant and understand that neediness isn’t a healthy trait.
Those are just a few warning signs that most people have been exposed to but some people are just too weak-willed to act on them. Don’t be the girl who tries to change the abusive guy at the expense of your own emotional stability. And I cannot stress this enough, but don’t marry someone because of societal pressure, take your time to get to know them and don’t hesitate to bid them farewell if their behavior is slightly wayward.