4 Reasons Why Your Idea Of Love Is Sometimes Wrong

The internet is replete with articles answering your existential questions and one of those highly requested topics concerns what is arguably the most intense human feeling of all, love.  We all want love in our lives, and the type of love we most desperately yearn for, is romantic love.  It’s the impetus behind everything we do, we plan our lives around that big adventure which marks the beginning of when we really start to live.  There are so many ideas about love that it’s almost impossible to echo all of them at once but in this article we’re going to highlight the 4 most bizarre circumstances that can lead to someone mistaking something else for love.

  1. Limerence 

Limerence is also known as infatuated love and it’s pretty much self explanatory.  But for the purpose of being more insightful, let us explore the nitty-gritty of this theory.  Limerence can be translated into ‘obsessive crush’.  We’ve all had obsessive crushes on people, daydreaming about them and mentally planning our wedding and the names of our children.  Well, while it may seem to you that you’re in love, you most certainly aren’t.  Limerence usually fades in a short amount of time but it can last longer, depending on how bonkers your fantasies are.  Limerence is definitely not love because you’re not really tempted to act on it, which is based on the premise that it might lead to unrequited love.  For love to exist, it must be at least recognized by the other party.

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Mindy doesn’t take it that far though.

2. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl

This is mostly a male fantasy, where the person experiencing those feelings wrongly mistakes them for love.  It’s different from limerence in that the person isn’t really obsessed with the fantasy of being with someone, but rather, they’re projecting their own hidden expectations onto their partner, which inadvertently leads them to believe they’re in love.  A famous example of this conundrum is when a guy finally meets someone with the same interests and fixates on that aspect alone. ‘Oh well, how amazing is she, I’m so in love with her‘, disregarding the obvious differences in their personalities.

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I hate this movie but it really captures the MPDG experience.

3. The Stockholm Syndrome

No this is not about a hostage falling in love with their kidnapper although that has been known to happen.  This feeling is mostly concerned with how we often subconsciously relate fear to love, a vestige from our childhood where discipline was rewarded with affection.  Sadly, many human beings are attracted to people who evoke feelings of fear in them-a famous example of this type of occurrence, is when law-abiding women fall for hardened criminals with no plausible explanation as to how such a thing is even possible.  Well, there you have it, sometimes fear can be interpreted as love.

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In Top Of The Lake, Mary falls for a much older criminally-inclined man.

4. Daddy Issues/Mommy issues

A vast majority of people are attracted to people who display the personality traits of their parents and this familiarity can coax cushy feelings of love and affection in their mind.  In some cases, due to unresolved conflicts with their parents, these individuals bend over backwards to commit their reverence and loyalty to the person they think they love.  In fact, they’re only submitting to something beyond their power because subconsciously they want to repair their damaged relationship with their parent/s.

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Cute but creeeeeepy.

All these different feelings can be mistakenly attributed to love. But love isn’t beholden to your expectations or your fantasies, love is for the most part unconditional and pure.

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