I was fucking depressed. All around me, I could hear people talking about stuff but that stuff in itself was pretty depressing. Bleak and dreary. And then the Christmas songs were being belted out, loud and merry, you know like an irony. I looked miserable, surrounded by all these people, vain and glib. Like I know it’s the Holiday season and everyone is like over the moon (I’m being a killjoy), but do you really have to walk around with that cringe-worthy arrogant look emblazoned on your ugly face? Like it’s Christmas dude, it happens every year, it’s not like you just got into heaven and you were offered 70 virgins on a silver platter. Like fucking chill.
The arrogance makes me mad. More so because, as an empath, I do feel the energy and it’s not a positive energy. It reeks of mindless consumerism, holier-than-thou gobbledygook that people spew out to mark their superiority. And underneath all that pizzazz, there is nothing. Hollow and vacant. No sense of evil and goodness. Just follow the herd, my freund. And then I look at the guys, slumped against a street corner, looking pretty shitty I’m afraid, and I feel for them. Because that’s essentially the human condition. What they experience physically, we all experience mentally, but we’re too afraid to face our fears. Isn’t that why we keep pretending like death is so fucking far away? When it was just yesterday that we learnt we exist.
I feel connected to people when the energy is right, when the balance isn’t skewed and when they are being real. And it happens a lot of times, but the reverse does as well. I do not understand why people are so afraid to reckon with reality, I mean I do on the surface, but doesn’t it eat them up to always have to wear that mask? Isn’t that an encumbrance in itself? Why do we live life, like we aren’t supposed to live life?
But I digress. I’m just being true to my misanthropic self, in this moment of utter joy and jubilation. Haa, I’m so fucking happy! CHRISTMAS. MONEY. GIFTS.