Millennial Feminists Are Something Else…

I infiltrated the ‘Babe’ group on Facebook because I was curious to see how those who support the website that brought down Aziz Ansari, felt about feminism.  The website is run by a bunch of 20 something millennials who take umbrage at everything a man would ever do.  As someone who used to infiltrate the manosphere for the same purpose-that is, to observe the cultural shift in gender related discussions- I’m loath to say that millennial feminists pander to feminism just to vent about their gender related grievances.  And by that I mean, bitch about every bad date, every bad experience they’ve had with a man.

The first post that really hit me was a girl talking about how ‘weird’ guys would message her on Tinder.  Because you know, you shouldn’t message someone on a dating app.  Ever.  There were a slew of misandrist comments from women who felt like men should never approach them and I was thinking to myself, ‘wait a second, what do these girls want?’  If no man should be allowed to approach a woman, that would be the death of the dating scene.  Women rarely take initiative and the women who would post in this group contradict themselves post after post, sometimes to the extent of ‘begging’ for male attention.

This group of girls claim to be feminists, hardcore feminists at that.  They want to change the culture.  They are ’empowered’.  But those are just glib words that they throw around to profit off the fulcrum of modern feminism, a movement that’s as noble as any human rights movement.  I was taken aback as I started scrolling through the posts, every one of them from a millennial girl who has guy problems, every one of them from a girl who either got snubbed by a guy or whose man thinks she’s crazy, because he gets it, she’s crazy.  It beggars belief that this group of women, who obviously crave male attention more than anything in the world-because that’s what they always talk about-should ever call themselves feminists.  Because feminists they are not, they are just as misguided as Grace, the girl who thought Aziz Ansari could read her mind.

I’m a millennial woman myself and to see how entitled most millennial women are, is pretty appalling.  The movement will go adrift, and like many people have foreshadowed this sad truth, feminism will become a man-hating movement.  Sure, if a man does something horrible that actually warrants criticism, I’m all for it, we’re after all trying to redefine culture in a way that’s healthy for both genders.  But to go around labeling every trivial incident as an aggression against women, is preposterous.  It goes beyond that; most of them don’t see men as human beings.  They’ve mythologized the idea of a man; a man should be well versed in their physical and mental cues, a man should never object to a crazy demand, a man shouldn’t be allowed to make his own choices.  I could go on.  This group of women are as bad as the manosphere.  There’s no opportunity for common ground because their tenets inherently presuppose that men and women aren’t identical beings, but groups with diametrically opposed agendas.

I used to laugh at people who’d equate feminism with man-hating because I thought it was such a vapid categorization, a haughty accusation from those too comfortable to deal with real life injustices related to women.  But I’m slowly beginning to see their prescient judgment coming to light, because it is true.  Millennial women never had to contend with gender-related injustices, second-wave feminists made sure to end that.  But they have to contend with something far more unnerving, their sense of entitlement when it comes to the men in their lives.  And that’s scary, because a whole bunch of men will be attacked and denigrated on the public scene, just like Ansari, because they happened to misread a young entitled millennial princess.

People who perpetually see themselves as victims, no matter the severity of the incident, shouldn’t be allowed to become the cultural dictators of our era.  And certainly not appropriate a word that does nothing to describe what they really are, because feminists find strength and resilience in their struggles and those two things are as alien to them as the notion that men and women can actually co-exist.

 

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Mauritians And Their Collective Amnesia When It Comes To Their Origins

I was browsing Facebook late at night while the cyclone was raging outside.  It was an exciting moment, a synergy that could be felt even from behind a computer screen.  Social media was ablaze with posts detailing the various degrees of damage the cyclone was causing in its path, people sharing anecdotes and memes while others joined in to comment, good old camaraderie that can only be felt during times of crises.

But amidst all this mirth, some unspeakable and appalling posts, racist and discriminatory diatribes, the like of which you wouldn’t expect from people who call themselves Mauritians.  Because Mauritian is an identity, our foremost identity.  In most countries, the nationalistic stance is to identify with the national identity.  Not in Mauritius though.  Certain people still think they’re stuck in medieval Bihar, a place ruled by ruthless casteism and petty tribalism, and a general mentality as bleak as its environment.

It came to my attention that several people were blaming the Creole minority for having the gall to ask for food and nourishment during their stay in relief centers.  The comments were outrageous and callous.  How dare they speak badly of Sinatambour’s ”biscuits cabine et delo”!  Apparently, poor people should be elated to dine on stale biscuits, according to some pestilential viewpoints perpetrated by equally pestilential adults with no semblance of any humanistic inclination.

These people are vapid and jealous, it is funny actually to note just how jealous and envious they are of people who are in distress.  They actually believe, in a twisted way, that poor people being the recipient of national attention, means that they’re now on the fringe of society.  They’re basically whiny children stuck in adult bodies.

The collective outrage is funny and the reasons for that outrage, even more-so.  Some people believe that being poor is a choice.  Incidentally, being an asshole is a choice as well.  On a more serious note, Mauritius is still a third-world country, in the continent of Africa, where relative poverty affects a huge fraction of the population, while absolute poverty affects around 20 000 people.  For these people to go around claiming that poor people have it coming to them, and blame them for being ‘victims’, I’m loath to say that it’s a bad case of collective amnesia.

We’re mostly 3rd generation descendants, born to parents whose grand-parents or great grand-parents were brought to this country as cheap labor, to work the sugarcane fields or provide some other type of manual labor.

Creoles were brought as slaves, but when slavery was abolished, they switched to a more bohemian lifestyle, hunting and leading a peripatetic life in nature.  Behind prison-like enclosures, Indo-Mauritians replaced the slaves, lived in squalid conditions with up to 15 children crammed in a hut.  That was merely 150 years ago.  For the descendants of these people to go around pretending like they’re royalty, it is indeed a severe case of collective amnesia.

And now, how does this connect to our current levels of poverty mainly affecting those from the Creole minority, as some would like to pretend?  If we were to actually rue over the origins of this abject condition, we’d have to take into account the various hurdles that prevented their assimilation within society.

Language barriers, difficulties in acquiring land and property, an education system that ostracizes people more than it prepares them for life, a saturated economy where not all occupations yield a life-sustaining pay.  I could go on.  To blame the poor for being poor is nothing but sanctimonious victim blaming.

Many Mauritians feel like they somehow broke the glass ceiling by being employable and because they enjoy a decent standard of living.  But the corrosive mentality that permeates our culture shows that despite their materialistic successes, many people still abide by those same casteist rules that plagued their ancestors back in India.

With a view of the world so contrived and haughty, according to which poor people ought to be excoriated and reviled, a country can only dream of real growth, and not just growth measured in dubious figures, but cultural and geopolitical growth that would entail the complete eradication of third-world notions and ultimately, inequality.

A Guide To Dating In Mauritius For Women

We don’t talk about it very often because our culture didn’t evolve to include open dialogue between the sexes and honest discourse on relationships, as a whole.  When was the last time you heard someone holding forth on the aspects of healthy relationships and a healthy sex life?  Sure, we have extensive reading material about those things in our rags but they are glib and superficial.  They’re presented as shock pieces to titillate our curiosity and nothing else.  But in the media and everywhere else, our prudish attitude toward sex prevents us from engaging in insightful and thoughtful conversations that would help us mitigate certain bad consequences that emerge from bad relationships.  And those consequences impact women on a larger scale.

As part of the New Year celebrations, a radio show focused on things that marked us in the past year.  Among the topics that were being expounded, crimes of passion raised the alarm; we have a very unhealthy idea of relationships.  The new year began with another crime of passion making headlines; a jilted husband had shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself.  Another child will be growing up without a family, due to our collective apathy on what is destroying our society from within.  Here are some useful guidelines for dating here, in Mauritius.

1. The misogynistic ones wear their misogyny as a badge of honor-learn to identify the signs

These guys are loud and very passionate about their disdain for women.  When people tell you who they are, believe them.  Those guys always jump at the opportunity to deride women or lecture women on how they ought to behave.  So it goes without saying, they’re quite fond of the traditional gender roles, where they will have the upper-hand, almost all the time.

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Why can’t every man be Don Draper?

Needless to say, your relationship will revolve around his needs, his views and his sexual appetite.  He’s the king and you’re merely the dinner.  Unfortunately, men of the aforementioned creed, make up a huge chunk of the population so you need to learn how to spot them and how to casually avoid them.

 2. Avoid male prudes like the plague

As a 21st century woman, it is quite offensive to imply that women shouldn’t enjoy sex.  It’s biology, it’s science, it’s the core of human existence.  But Mauritius is still quite a dogmatic society where people expect you to abide by the tenets of their religion, as if you’re not allowed to have your own version of tenets to abide by.  As a result, sex is viewed under a very repressive light, that you’re supposed to indulge in it when you’re married and that’s it.  There’s no sexual education for kids in college and teen pregnancy is quite a big problem here, due to this inane misconception about something so natural.

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Tada.

There are many guys here who’ve been raised to think that only they ought to enjoy sex.  It’s very common in oppressive cultures to have men who walk around believing they’re Rocco Siffredi and looking down on women who want a piece of the cake.  Those men are not going to be fun to be with, especially if you’re the kind of woman who’s self confident enough and has a healthy self-esteem.

3. Observe their social circle

Men who cannot be friends with women are almost always sexualizing the opposite gender.  Of course, attraction is normal but a person who cannot overcome physical attraction and maintain platonic relationships with people, is the definition of a red flag.  In Mauritius, many activities are limited to men, and they take great pride in partaking in those activities with their male friends.

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This female computer engineer has no female friends, which is OKAY.

Often, in patriarchal societies like ours, women who mingle with men are harshly excoriated so watch out if your guy has no female friends.  It means that he probably sees women as a dating accessory only.

4. When he overtly criticizes women’s rights movement, he’s telling you he doesn’t think much of women

When someone feels the need to tell you that views on gender shouldn’t evolve and specifically targets your gender as being inferior and not eligible for equal treatment, you have to understand that you will never be equal in their eyes.  There is no worse outcome in a relationship, which ought to be fun and spontaneous.  People who are opposed to your own progress and to the progress of women’s rights in general, are not going to vouch for your well-being.

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Thankfully, he’s not into women.  If he were, he wouldn’t be getting any.

 

It is 2018, the times have changed.  The #MeToo movement has finally sounded the death knell on abuse in many countries, female leaders are more vocal than ever and society is finally making amends for the inequalities of the past in developed countries.  It is time to eradicate these anachronistic attitudes toward women and relationships in Mauritius and level the playing field.

 

Why I’m A Feminist In Mauritius

I’d ask myself the question, going over the possible reasons about whether I should adopt the label or not, encumbered by the various reactions (euphemism for insults) that would naturally ensue.  I do not understand how a very straight-forward concept has been warped by so many of its detractors, to the extent that sometimes the negative outweighs the positive.  And I’m somewhat in between of that spectrum, I understand that everything is nuanced in life, but do those who are more than eager to throw a whole movement under the bus, understand that very nuance?  I’m afraid not.  Why else, would one clamor for a revisionist stance on women’s rights?

I was born on the Paradise Island, I grew up here, I’m more than ”well-acquainted” with the culture, I’m a product of it.  And I despise it-the culture.  I was born a woman, and there lies my only crime.  So my life should be a whitewashed version of what it ought to be, similar to that of a reprobate who’s serving a life sentence.  I cannot be anything but a woman and by that I mean, their definition of a woman.  Their nurturing, feminine, grossly sexualized, timorous, servile counterpart.  If I cannot be those things, then tada-here comes a barrage of unwarranted, unfounded criticism.  Behold the blitzkrieg!

Let’s keep it real, multiculturalism rhymes with tolerance of the intolerant (okay it doesn’t, but you get the jibe).  Somehow, it’s acceptable in 2018 to expect women to abide by rules set in the dark ages.  Sure, those rules aren’t engraved on a mound in Port-Louis nor are they evinced religiously in the media; those are our mores, our norms.  And you might be asking yourself- Aren’t you just reaching?  Which is pretty normal, because those in a privileged position aren’t going to just open their minds all of a sudden, we are after all a deeply flawed species.  But no, I’m not reaching.  I’ve experienced this society from within-a society that gangs up on females for the crime of bodily autonomy, a society that expects mothers to be slaves to their families, a society that tells women they shouldn’t enjoy sex.  A society that turns a blind eye to domestic violence and abuse and then ponders-What is wrong with us?  Well, everything.

I have to google the definition of the word ‘Paradise’ because in our case, it’s such a misnomer.  Let’s just say it’s a paradise for those who wanna escape to luxury hotels whose walls guard them well from the perils of this deeply primitive society.  And what fuels that aversion, that deep vituperation, is the fact that women still don’t have access to reproductive rights.  It’s 2018 and religious crackpots are still dominating public opinion.  And I know, many people ( I mean it, many) don’t give a fuck about our ordeals as women, because they’re not attuned to the concept of empathy or extending their understanding to those they’ve marginalized and dehumanized their whole lives, but do try.  It will help you become a better person (if you want to).

What about those Soviet-era grannies warming the benches in the Parliament?  As women, we ought to recognize that, not every woman is a feminist.  These female MPs-cum-crooks have done nothing for the female cause, here in Mauritius.  Zilch.  Nada.  And what should they have done, you might ask?  Well use their fucking ostentatious degrees and positions to accomplish something…anything.  I don’t care how many females have been chosen for positions within the government, I don’t care about the copacetic lip service, what I care about is action and by action I mean, solid, undisputed action to address inequalities that hamper women’s pursuit of happiness here in Mauritius.