A New Hope for Renewable Energy in Mauritius

The idea of coal power stations, more of them that it, is nothing new to the Mauritian vision of the future. In the past, we had a number of projects envisioning more of these – the most notorious of these being the CT Power Project.

Such projects have always stirred the pot of controversies because of their potentially catastrophic effects on the environment. As if turns out, burning stuff produces smoke and eventually, environmentalists have always been staunch opponents of such polluting practices. Few though, have constructive solutions to provide as alternative. Sure, tidal wave energy conversion or wind energy might be less polluting, but they are not as fun as playing with fire and satisfying to our inner degenerate.

Taking the question of an alternative to fire plants seriously, the collective Falloute Mauricienne arrived at the conclusion, after years of research, that the best alternative, one that would make up for the power deficiency and to make Mauritians feel good is Conversions of Accessible Kinetic Energy (or CAKEs, for short).

In the study, the collective found out that the amount of support different projects obtained from Mauritians correlated directly with the amount of pleasure the latter obtained from it.

Unsurprisingly …

Masturbation, as an activity of great pleasure which many Mauritians are passionate about, has been found out to be the perfect candidate to substitute power plants.
As a result, the Falloute Mauricienne designed a way of converting energy through masturbation and came up with a device, a glove which converts the movements of the user’s hand into electric energy.

Explaining how it functions, Dr Leonard Arriaz, the project director of Falloute Mauricienne talks about CAKEs;

It’s a nice way of reconciling Mauritian indifference about important issues to their self-interest. In the future, we are thinking of using a similar business model for issues such as poverty and political involvement.

The collective is thinking of commercializing the CAKE, through which a slice of the profit will go toward buying butterfly nets for members of Falloute Mauricienne in order to retrieve the smoke already in our atmosphere back and enclose them into 0.5L plastic bottles.

Gary Homet

I'm a pacifist.

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