I infiltrated the ‘Babe’ group on Facebook because I was curious to see how those who support the website that brought down Aziz Ansari, felt about feminism. The website is run by a bunch of 20 something millennials who take umbrage at everything a man would ever do. As someone who used to infiltrate the manosphere for the same purpose-that is, to observe the cultural shift in gender related discussions- I’m loath to say that millennial feminists pander to feminism just to vent about their gender related grievances. And by that I mean, bitch about every bad date, every bad experience they’ve had with a man.
The first post that really hit me was a girl talking about how ‘weird’ guys would message her on Tinder. Because you know, you shouldn’t message someone on a dating app. Ever. There were a slew of misandrist comments from women who felt like men should never approach them and I was thinking to myself, ‘wait a second, what do these girls want?’ If no man should be allowed to approach a woman, that would be the death of the dating scene. Women rarely take initiative and the women who would post in this group contradict themselves post after post, sometimes to the extent of ‘begging’ for male attention.
This group of girls claim to be feminists, hardcore feminists at that. They want to change the culture. They are ’empowered’. But those are just glib words that they throw around to profit off the fulcrum of modern feminism, a movement that’s as noble as any human rights movement. I was taken aback as I started scrolling through the posts, every one of them from a millennial girl who has guy problems, every one of them from a girl who either got snubbed by a guy or whose man thinks she’s crazy, because he gets it, she’s crazy. It beggars belief that this group of women, who obviously crave male attention more than anything in the world-because that’s what they always talk about-should ever call themselves feminists. Because feminists they are not, they are just as misguided as Grace, the girl who thought Aziz Ansari could read her mind.
I’m a millennial woman myself and to see how entitled most millennial women are, is pretty appalling. The movement will go adrift, and like many people have foreshadowed this sad truth, feminism will become a man-hating movement. Sure, if a man does something horrible that actually warrants criticism, I’m all for it, we’re after all trying to redefine culture in a way that’s healthy for both genders. But to go around labeling every trivial incident as an aggression against women, is preposterous. It goes beyond that; most of them don’t see men as human beings. They’ve mythologized the idea of a man; a man should be well versed in their physical and mental cues, a man should never object to a crazy demand, a man shouldn’t be allowed to make his own choices. I could go on. This group of women are as bad as the manosphere. There’s no opportunity for common ground because their tenets inherently presuppose that men and women aren’t identical beings, but groups with diametrically opposed agendas.
I used to laugh at people who’d equate feminism with man-hating because I thought it was such a vapid categorization, a haughty accusation from those too comfortable to deal with real life injustices related to women. But I’m slowly beginning to see their prescient judgment coming to light, because it is true. Millennial women never had to contend with gender-related injustices, second-wave feminists made sure to end that. But they have to contend with something far more unnerving, their sense of entitlement when it comes to the men in their lives. And that’s scary, because a whole bunch of men will be attacked and denigrated on the public scene, just like Ansari, because they happened to misread a young entitled millennial princess.
People who perpetually see themselves as victims, no matter the severity of the incident, shouldn’t be allowed to become the cultural dictators of our era. And certainly not appropriate a word that does nothing to describe what they really are, because feminists find strength and resilience in their struggles and those two things are as alien to them as the notion that men and women can actually co-exist.