A Guide To Dating In Mauritius For Women

We don’t talk about it very often because our culture didn’t evolve to include open dialogue between the sexes and honest discourse on relationships, as a whole.  When was the last time you heard someone holding forth on the aspects of healthy relationships and a healthy sex life?  Sure, we have extensive reading material about those things in our rags but they are glib and superficial.  They’re presented as shock pieces to titillate our curiosity and nothing else.  But in the media and everywhere else, our prudish attitude toward sex prevents us from engaging in insightful and thoughtful conversations that would help us mitigate certain bad consequences that emerge from bad relationships.  And those consequences impact women on a larger scale.

As part of the New Year celebrations, a radio show focused on things that marked us in the past year.  Among the topics that were being expounded, crimes of passion raised the alarm; we have a very unhealthy idea of relationships.  The new year began with another crime of passion making headlines; a jilted husband had shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself.  Another child will be growing up without a family, due to our collective apathy on what is destroying our society from within.  Here are some useful guidelines for dating here, in Mauritius.

1. The misogynistic ones wear their misogyny as a badge of honor-learn to identify the signs

These guys are loud and very passionate about their disdain for women.  When people tell you who they are, believe them.  Those guys always jump at the opportunity to deride women or lecture women on how they ought to behave.  So it goes without saying, they’re quite fond of the traditional gender roles, where they will have the upper-hand, almost all the time.

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Why can’t every man be Don Draper?

Needless to say, your relationship will revolve around his needs, his views and his sexual appetite.  He’s the king and you’re merely the dinner.  Unfortunately, men of the aforementioned creed, make up a huge chunk of the population so you need to learn how to spot them and how to casually avoid them.

 2. Avoid male prudes like the plague

As a 21st century woman, it is quite offensive to imply that women shouldn’t enjoy sex.  It’s biology, it’s science, it’s the core of human existence.  But Mauritius is still quite a dogmatic society where people expect you to abide by the tenets of their religion, as if you’re not allowed to have your own version of tenets to abide by.  As a result, sex is viewed under a very repressive light, that you’re supposed to indulge in it when you’re married and that’s it.  There’s no sexual education for kids in college and teen pregnancy is quite a big problem here, due to this inane misconception about something so natural.

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Tada.

There are many guys here who’ve been raised to think that only they ought to enjoy sex.  It’s very common in oppressive cultures to have men who walk around believing they’re Rocco Siffredi and looking down on women who want a piece of the cake.  Those men are not going to be fun to be with, especially if you’re the kind of woman who’s self confident enough and has a healthy self-esteem.

3. Observe their social circle

Men who cannot be friends with women are almost always sexualizing the opposite gender.  Of course, attraction is normal but a person who cannot overcome physical attraction and maintain platonic relationships with people, is the definition of a red flag.  In Mauritius, many activities are limited to men, and they take great pride in partaking in those activities with their male friends.

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This female computer engineer has no female friends, which is OKAY.

Often, in patriarchal societies like ours, women who mingle with men are harshly excoriated so watch out if your guy has no female friends.  It means that he probably sees women as a dating accessory only.

4. When he overtly criticizes women’s rights movement, he’s telling you he doesn’t think much of women

When someone feels the need to tell you that views on gender shouldn’t evolve and specifically targets your gender as being inferior and not eligible for equal treatment, you have to understand that you will never be equal in their eyes.  There is no worse outcome in a relationship, which ought to be fun and spontaneous.  People who are opposed to your own progress and to the progress of women’s rights in general, are not going to vouch for your well-being.

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Thankfully, he’s not into women.  If he were, he wouldn’t be getting any.

 

It is 2018, the times have changed.  The #MeToo movement has finally sounded the death knell on abuse in many countries, female leaders are more vocal than ever and society is finally making amends for the inequalities of the past in developed countries.  It is time to eradicate these anachronistic attitudes toward women and relationships in Mauritius and level the playing field.

 

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How To Cheat On Your Partner Effectively

You want to know right?  You’ve gone over it a few times, you came to the conclusion that your life might be more livable with a bit of spice and excitement.  You acquainted yourself with nihilism and you’ve come to embrace the Absurdist philosophy.  At the same time, you’re not really into your partner at the moment.  You want to feel like you’re in love without really being in love, you want to indulge in the seduction game and get out of it posthaste, you want to have a one-night stand without all the histrionics that would naturally ensue.  Here are 5 tips on how to cheat effectively…and get away with it.

1.Blend your shenanigans with your routine

Don’t go out of your way to make your partner feel special and loved.  Like don’t do it.  That will give it away.  Instead, merge your cheating bouts with your routine.  There’s a thing that’s coming up?  Well don’t go to that thing and plan ahead.  Your partner’s going to visit some relatives over the weekend?  Seize the opportunity, my friend.  Just go with the flow and if it gets kind of complicated, make up excuses that would seem natural.

So you’re horny on a Sunday afternoon but your boring boyfriend is lurking around your house.  What do you do?  You can’t just tell him you’re going shopping, he’s going to want to come along.  After all, it’s a Sunday afternoon.  What you could do instead (and it’s a genius advice), you could act prissy and stir up some shit that would make him not want to talk to you for a while.  ”I’m PMSing, just leave me alone okay.”

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No one wants to hang around someone who’s moping.

I mean it would be easier to just break up with your partner but like, you know you can’t.  So follow these golden rules.

2. Use your stupid brain

Okay, this is like the most important advice in this section.  Know why you’re cheating.  Like sit down with a notepad and write it all down.  Aren’t you just wasting your time maneuvering behind their back when you could just dump them?  It depends on the context, of course, let’s say, if you’re married, it’s a pretty dumb move.  You’re putting everything on the line, son.  Married people ought to think it through more than anyone else, because divorce is expensive and married people tend to over-dramatize everything.  In that case, planning is everything.  Just like you plan your chores, your errands, you’ve gotta plan that booty call way ahead of time.  Just like leaving a reminder on the fridge for some boring shit would remind you of said shit, leave a mental note : ”Thursday, 2 p.m, fucking Karen for 3 hours, then need to pick kids up from their recital.”

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3. Don’t get caught you idiot

Like, don’t fucking carry their underwear with you or write about how good the sex was on your stupid blog.  If you do that, you’re a grade A moron who oughtn’t be getting laid, lest you would pass on those grade A moron genes to your stupid kid.  Do not get caught.  Plan ahead.  If your partner brings up something out of the blue, feign outrage.  Outrage is literally the easiest thing to act out, all you need to do is gasp like a goldfish and slam a door shut.  That would get your partner thinking, ”Jesus what did I do.  I shouldn’t have done that.”  It’s also known as gaslighting, but you don’t care because you’re an asshole right.

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This picture shows that cheating is fun so, don’t get caught.

4. Take a shower after fucking your side whore, you whore

You know how in movies, the first thing that gives it away is the perfume or the cheeky lipstick mark, well like, these movies are very prescient when it comes to the art of cheating.  Most people know what a dick or a pussy smells like, and if you’re going home after sucking dick, you’re most likely gonna bring that smell with you.  And if you’re gonna kiss your husband with that smell hanging all over you, well, you’re the kind of person Hitler would’ve euthanized.  I’m not even kidding.  Take a shower after you’ve done the deed, wash your sins and brush your teeth if you’ve gone down on your lover.

I don’t even know why this is even on the list, but not everyone is a good person I suppose.

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Giggity

5. Use email

Don’t text your side chick every 10 mins or so, if you’re gonna do that, you might as well get a divorce lawyer.  Be smart about cheating, use a disposable email that you would use to set up booty calls, hotel trips, dinners-cum-fuckfests, you name it.  In the end, it’s all about being careful about not being outed as a sex crazed fuckwit.  You have a reputation you know, you are a human being.  In our very conservative society, cheaters are akin to Satan’s stooges.  So be careful about your sinful activities and don’t let your dick tear your family apart.  That’s literally the stupidest thing ever.  Who cries over someone’s dick?

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Which is why, you shouldn’t text them all the time.

Four Reasons Why Poverty Persists In Mauritius

Turquoise lagoons flanked by sprawling sandy beaches-what’s not to love?  It’s the picturesque epitome of what peace and serenity mean to many people.  But those are just the physical attributes of our ‘idyllic’ island, what about the quality of life that our million and a half (or so) population have to contend with?  Why is the outcry more thunderous than it used to be?

How come decades of incremental growth has not resulted in the annihilation of absolute poverty, let alone relative poverty, which is gradually leaving its imprint on our society?  Is this directly attributable to our faults as a nation, or should we look elsewhere for the perfect patsy?  Here are 3 possible reasons why, in spite of being the ‘richest’ country in Africa as per ‘income per capita’, we are grappling with a rise in relative poverty.

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1. Education policies that do not benefit the mainstay of the population

Say what you will about our political leaders, but at least in the beginning they delivered the goods.  The ‘Free Education’ policy has had the game changing impact of untethering us from our ‘primary-sector’ based livelihood, which gradually paved the way for service-based industries, the tourism industry and the textile industry among other things.  Knowing that resource-wise, we didn’t have much going on, our leaders at the time chose to imbue knowledge in the youth to ensure that our society wouldn’t crumble, a la Somalia.

But despite these providential policies, reports have shown that up to 100 000 people are living in relative poverty, which is the threshold where households aren’t able to keep up with the ‘median-income’ tier.  This is nearly 10% of our population and it’s no coincidence that the poverty trap seems to be an unwilling one indeed.  Our education policies-while they’ve rightly benefited hundreds of thousands of people-have not led us to become more entrepreneurial and entrepreneurship is the cornerstone of any robust economy!  As if to concur with this sentiment, last month it was revealed hundreds of small and medium enterprises had shut down.

A lack of entrepreneurial education, in tandem with a worrying dropout rate among high schoolers have led us to believe that maybe the education process ought to be revamped.  Not in the idiosyncratically blinkered way that our government has gotten us accustomed to, but in a more far-sighted realistic way that would ensure everyone would get the education they’re qualified for-those who aren’t characteristically fitted for academic achievement should be guided toward apprenticeship and technical courses.  Why else would they recruit foreign engineers, if there weren’t a known dearth in the educational process?

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Already, 25% of the future generation cannot master basic Math, English or French.
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Almost 30% do not have the required qualifications to continue their studies.
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This is a farcical figure because at this point, only those who qualified actually entered the race.  And of those ‘lucky ones’,  25% have hit a cul-de-sac.

2. Gentrification

In a very short span of time, we’ve seen our coastal regions blossom into posh provinces, and this has led to a very genuine problem that happens the world over-gentrification.  Gentrification in itself isn’t a pressing issue when the locals can afford the rates being offered in the market, but in our case it certainly is.  Rural poverty is a scourge in Mauritius, more-so because in recent years, infrastructural development for the sole purpose of attracting tourists is pushing locals to the sidelines.  As a result, they cannot buy real estate at competitive prices, they do not have purchasing power parity and they fall into a ‘relative’ poverty trap, exacerbated by rising prices to accommodate to high-income clienteles.

The government doesn’t seem to care much about this, although it’s pretty clear they should be investing in the working class to spark genuine, cross-sectional economic development.  Instead they aim for the pecuniary benefits of the short term at the expense of plunging a vast majority of people under the poverty threshold.

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In the same area, there’s a popular tourist resort.
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Oy vey, here it is.  Best of both worlds right?

3. Lack of realistic career planning

Anyone who has attended a local tertiary institution would have known how scant their transitory guidelines are because there’s a much bigger emphasis on attending a tertiary institution per se than there is on what the economy actually needs at the moment.  So we have a bunch of ‘Sociology’ graduates who will certainly fall behind in the race for a meaningful job and there are other vacuous degree courses on offer that certainly aren’t aligned with the realistic demands of the job market.

People often have to pursue another degree, on top of the one they strived to get because they didn’t evaluate the relevance of their studies in relation to job options.  So in order to mitigate youth unemployment or unemployment altogether (metrics of poverty), there has to be a decent nationwide framework that enumerates all the sectors of the economy that need to be filled with specific occupations.

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How do erudite scholars fail to communicate the dire reality that certain courses yield terrible career opportunities?

4. Petty tribalism?

This one has to be the deus ex machina of the lot because it’s far more implicit and perhaps explains the crux of what we’re facing.  If we look at countries that maintained a gradual growth and actually implemented rigorous policies to eradicate income inequality, there’s something that stands out.  Most of these countries have a very homogeneous culture and they don’t indulge in petty tribalism nor in letting religion dictate their way of life.  Mauritius has hundreds of thousands of people who are more interested in their own selfish aspirations rather than to help their poor counterparts get out of abject poverty.  It is a sort of coping mechanism that tells them that they’ve made it, contrary to the other ‘cultural’ tribes, whom they regard with the deepest contempt.

Imagine if they actually realized they were all made of the same fiber, imagine if competition was not based on schadenfreude but on patriotism-the drive to making society more equal and less brutish for the low income tiers.  But sadly, when ‘advisers’ to the Prime Minister are making tenfold the amount of the average Mauritian, can we just stop pretending that curbing poverty was even on the agenda?

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Mauritian taxpayers have a lot to coalesce about.

Légalisé Mam! 5 Reasons Why It’s A Smart Policy

One of the most contentious subjects when it comes to government policy is the fact that a significant faction of the population endorses the legalization of marijuana.  It makes sense because our ancestors were the ones that brought cannabis to this country, making it part of our cultural heritage. According to a 2011 survey, 3.9 % of our population are regular marijuana users (around 58 500 people) while 0.91% are regular opiate users, the highest number in Eastern Africa.  Recently we’ve been dealing with a surge in synthetic cannabis-related incidents and as a result, many youngsters have been committed to mental institutions.

There’s been a significant upheaval in public opinion as more and more people are being educated on the benefits of marijuana, when compared to lethal licit substances such as alcohol and cigarettes.  Tobacco consumption alone is responsible for 7 million deaths annually while that figure is 3.3 million for alcohol related deaths.  However, statistics on marijuana related deaths is as of yet unavailable although countries where it’s legal have not reported any death attributable to the consumption of marijuana.  Here are 5 reasons why it makes sense to get rid of the stigmas attached to marijuana consumption and legalize it.

1.In Mauritius, a vast majority of our prison population have been indicted on consumption or possession charges

Three quarters of the prison population comprise of marijuana users who’ve been subjected to the harsh penalties attached to marijuana possession and consumption.  A prison term of up to 5 years is mandated, as well as a fine not exceeding Rs 100 000.  In other countries, such penalties would be deemed ‘brutal’ if not ‘inhuman’ as research has shown that marijuana alone hasn’t been linked to an increase in crime or mortality.  After some states legalized marijuana in the US, a follow-up revealed that road rage, traffic violations, accidents and public misconduct had not gone up, henceforth proving that legalizing marijuana doesn’t lead to a rise in criminality.

2. Reports have shown that there was no rise in teenage marijuana consumption in the wake of its legal status

In Colorado, they debunked the myth that teenagers and children would be exposed to marijuana once it would be legal.  The findings are pretty clear in that regard-legalization didn’t lead to an increase in its use among teenagers or children.  In Mauritius, teenagers have easy access to cigarettes and alcohol, which are known to inhibit brain growth among other things.  In Uruguay the government controls the marijuana trade by means of registries that ensure no one under the age of 18 is exposed to marijuana.  Conversely, in Mauritius it’s not unusual to catch a glimpse of an underage person smoking or drinking as the laws are pretty lax.

3. Legalizing marijuana could lead to a decrease in opiate consumption

It’s been established that countries and states that have legalized marijuana saw a significant decrease in opiate consumption.  In Mauritius, there are currently 13 650 opiate users, most of whom are battling disease and poverty.  The rehabilitation process for these individuals is one of the most nerve wracking experiences anyone could ever go through and yet we’ve not come up with concrete solutions on how to solve this crisis.  As it happens, although some detractors have posited that marijuana consumption is a slippery slope that leads to the consumption of harder drugs, facts have proven otherwise.

4. The dismantling of notorious cartels

The legalization of marijuana could have the advantageous aftermath of eradicating the influence of the Peroomal Veerens of our country.  We all know that the dealers will be up in arms should such a policy attract significant interest and consequently, it could lead to the demise of the black market which has been responsible for the dissemination of synthetic drugs and the associated deaths.  The black market has enough leverage in the political realm, which might be one of the reasons why the government hasn’t considered legalizing marijuana to this day.  Marijuana legalization is a no-brainer policy in a country that consumes a large amount of it.

5. A tax policy that could be used to finance social projects

Or in other words, legalize it and tax it.  Following Uruguay’s example, we could set up micro-governmental branches that would oversee the trade of cannabis and enforce the regulations, incidentally creating new jobs.  The revenue from the sale of cannabis could be used to finance a myriad of social projects that have been in limbo for years now, such as the renovation of our public hospitals and further training for our teachers.  Those aren’t even remotely unrealistic endeavors and could be very well put in motion once we establish a framework to distribute and profit off this new policy.

Only a government that’s in cahoots with the black market would overlook the propitious aspects of legalizing marijuana.

4 Reasons Why Your Idea Of Love Is Sometimes Wrong

The internet is replete with articles answering your existential questions and one of those highly requested topics concerns what is arguably the most intense human feeling of all, love.  We all want love in our lives, and the type of love we most desperately yearn for, is romantic love.  It’s the impetus behind everything we do, we plan our lives around that big adventure which marks the beginning of when we really start to live.  There are so many ideas about love that it’s almost impossible to echo all of them at once but in this article we’re going to highlight the 4 most bizarre circumstances that can lead to someone mistaking something else for love.

  1. Limerence 

Limerence is also known as infatuated love and it’s pretty much self explanatory.  But for the purpose of being more insightful, let us explore the nitty-gritty of this theory.  Limerence can be translated into ‘obsessive crush’.  We’ve all had obsessive crushes on people, daydreaming about them and mentally planning our wedding and the names of our children.  Well, while it may seem to you that you’re in love, you most certainly aren’t.  Limerence usually fades in a short amount of time but it can last longer, depending on how bonkers your fantasies are.  Limerence is definitely not love because you’re not really tempted to act on it, which is based on the premise that it might lead to unrequited love.  For love to exist, it must be at least recognized by the other party.

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Mindy doesn’t take it that far though.

2. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl

This is mostly a male fantasy, where the person experiencing those feelings wrongly mistakes them for love.  It’s different from limerence in that the person isn’t really obsessed with the fantasy of being with someone, but rather, they’re projecting their own hidden expectations onto their partner, which inadvertently leads them to believe they’re in love.  A famous example of this conundrum is when a guy finally meets someone with the same interests and fixates on that aspect alone. ‘Oh well, how amazing is she, I’m so in love with her‘, disregarding the obvious differences in their personalities.

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I hate this movie but it really captures the MPDG experience.

3. The Stockholm Syndrome

No this is not about a hostage falling in love with their kidnapper although that has been known to happen.  This feeling is mostly concerned with how we often subconsciously relate fear to love, a vestige from our childhood where discipline was rewarded with affection.  Sadly, many human beings are attracted to people who evoke feelings of fear in them-a famous example of this type of occurrence, is when law-abiding women fall for hardened criminals with no plausible explanation as to how such a thing is even possible.  Well, there you have it, sometimes fear can be interpreted as love.

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In Top Of The Lake, Mary falls for a much older criminally-inclined man.

4. Daddy Issues/Mommy issues

A vast majority of people are attracted to people who display the personality traits of their parents and this familiarity can coax cushy feelings of love and affection in their mind.  In some cases, due to unresolved conflicts with their parents, these individuals bend over backwards to commit their reverence and loyalty to the person they think they love.  In fact, they’re only submitting to something beyond their power because subconsciously they want to repair their damaged relationship with their parent/s.

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Cute but creeeeeepy.

All these different feelings can be mistakenly attributed to love. But love isn’t beholden to your expectations or your fantasies, love is for the most part unconditional and pure.

5 Red Flags That Show Your Partner Is Abusive

Every week, we hear about jilted guys abusing their wives/girlfriends and in some cases, even murdering them in cold blood.  Yet we never address the real reason why abusive behavior is so rampant in our society.  We have this distorted image of what love is, and owing to our cultural history, we tend to believe that couples who stick together no matter the severity of the situation, are the bee’s knees.  Well no, sometimes, when people run away from their partner after a mere fortnight, it’s the best decision they would ever make in their life.

So, in order to avoid these onerous people, these 5 red flags will help you in being a little more prescient.

  1. No Remorse

Abusive people don’t do the whole introspection/guilty conscience thing.  It’s like the part of the brain with a modicum of self awareness is always turned off.  So watch out when the guy or the girl you’re dating does something absolutely horrendous and doesn’t take responsibility for it.  This is also known as ‘gas lighting’.  Oftentimes, abusive people try to manipulate their partner into thinking that their ‘concerns’ are unsubstantiated, even going so far as citing apocryphal experiences to sway their partner.

Run away from that person as fast as you can.

Screenshot from Runaway (ft. Pusha T)

2. Controlling Behavior

As individuals, we all have specific needs and ideals and we tend to stick by them to avoid moral or intellectual dilemmas.  If your partner ever tries to impose their ideals onto you with the forethought that they are better equipped at decision making, it’s probably time to say goodbye.  Narcissistic individuals will tear out your soul and blame you for it, which is why you will never see a husband plead guilty for the murder of his wife, because in his screwed up universe, he’s exempted from all guilt.  Likewise, individuals who have a loose screw should be avoided like the plague, no matter how charming they present themselves to be.

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3. Irate dispositions

We all know a person who thinks that their reaction to a certain situation is never misconstrued but rather that the object of the situation itself is triggering that reaction from them.  Those people expect you to walk on egg shells, avoid any or every topic they’re at odds with and live in constant fear of their anger bursts.  I don’t think I need to expatiate any further on this topic because it’s pretty evident that hot headed individuals are terrible life partners.  In certain cases, you might feel like ‘hmmm he’s just human, he’s not perfect’, well girl no, he doesn’t need to be perfect, he just needs to be fucking normal.  So if you find yourself ever wondering whether that hot guy with an even hotter temperament would be into you, keep in mind that it’s potentially a death sentence for you.

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4. Misogynistic inclinations

The ‘alt-right’ is pretty cool these days and you may find yourself rationalizing the need to separate people from their ideas but in certain cases, watch out for how extreme the idea is.  Misogynistic men don’t openly declare their aversion to anything feminine but there are recurring connotations in their speech that would point to them being extremely antagonistic toward the female cause.  The first red flag to observe in those individuals is that they’re constantly playing down your concerns because, wait for it, you’re a woman.  They will deride you for things you’ve never even done because in their mind, all women are sneaky, back-stabbing sluts.  They will expect you to play the role of the submissive sidekick because they see you as a sentient object.  Needless to say, those people are a blot on your pursuit of happiness.

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5. Low self esteem

Some people just hate themselves and it’s normal because our individual experiences define who we’ve become but some do take the LSE thing to a whole new level.  They will define their emotional state based on how you treat them, which sounds pretty ambiguous but basically you will be responsible for their emotions and if you fail at that task, they will unleash all that repressed wrath onto you.  You will feel burdened by disproportionately insane expectations and nervous breakdowns will become a recurring theme in your household.  So be observant and understand that neediness isn’t a healthy trait.

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Those are just a few warning signs that most people have been exposed to but some people are just too weak-willed to act on them.  Don’t be the girl who tries to change the abusive guy at the expense of your own emotional stability.  And I cannot stress this enough, but don’t marry someone because of societal pressure, take your time to get to know them and don’t hesitate to bid them farewell if their behavior is slightly wayward.